


Days gone by

by MilkyPotus



Category: In the Heights - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF, In the Heights - Miranda/Hudes
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Don’t worry, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Recovery, Sexual Abuse, mostly 20k words of Daniela and Carla being very close, there are plenty of fluffy moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilkyPotus/pseuds/MilkyPotus
Summary: Something disturbing happens to Carla that makes her shut herself away from the rest of the group, including Daniela. Daniela finds out the real reason and they try to work through Carla’s distress together.AU - The salon didn’t close, Vanessa still works there.(The Chapters are the days passed since ‘’the incident’’)
Relationships: Benny/Nina Rosario, Camila Rosario/Kevin Rosario, Carla/Daniela (In the Heights), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Usnavi/Vanessa (In the Heights)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. 8 days

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT BEFORE READING THE STORY. PLEASE READ THIS.  
> There are some mentions of sexual violence, mild homophobia, self harm and eating disorders. They are very vague in hope that they don't trigger or make you feel uncomfortable, which is why I mainly focus of the relationship Carla and Daniela have, and how Carla overcomes her bad habits. 
> 
> The ages of the characters are a bit weird, but Daniela is 39 and Carla is 28. I want to make the age difference play a huge part in a follow up story I'm thinking of, so I hope y'all don't think too much of it (yet)  
> Vanessa and Nina are 19, Benny and Usnavi are 24 and Sonny is 17. (ish)
> 
> All characters are based off the OBC
> 
> There are way too many Spanish words in here and listing them all at the end would just complicate it, so I'm sorry to say this but y'all are gonna have to use google translate for it. Also, if anybody catches some Spanish grammar mistakes, or something like that, I am taking my third course this year and have been struggling with the grammar, so please point it out so I can do better. It would be much appreciated :D

Daniela wanted to kick herself for not noticing sooner. What made it worse was that Daniela  _ had _ noticed, since their routine of soon ten years (along with generations before them) had been broken one summer morning without an explanation. She had just been idly sitting by the side and watching it all go down, not doing anything about it. This was one of the few first place seats she would ever be able to afford.

Her usually chipper, upbeat and stupidly naive friend had been acting out of character the last few days. In fact, Daniela knew that it had started eight days ago when everything she knew about Carla was suddenly thrown out the door. 

The thing that made Daniela really want to kick herself was that she hadn’t pried out the reason why Carla was so out of it on the first day. She hadn’t been a good friend and forced forward the truth. She hadn’t been the  _ mamacita _ that people on the streets would often call her, even if she wasn’t a mother to anyone. Except maybe Carla, but the girl was more of a very close friend than a daughter. Age difference be damned, the eleven years between them didn’t matter anymore, since they were practically a pair now. 

(Not a pair as in a relationship. More of a set that should never be separated. Though that thought had occurred to Daniela, it would just as soon be pushed down and ignored. Especially now that the young girl was seemingly going through an existential crisis. The thought unfortunately makes a frequent appearance.)

Eight days ago, Carla hadn’t arrived to Usnavi’s shop for their morning coffee and store opening that they always did together. She had entered ten minutes later, wearing a sweater and jeans despite it being one of the hottest days, and had excused herself abruptly to leave for cleaning duty in the backroom. That was her least favourite chore, yet here she had been demanding that she would take care of it instead of Vanessa. 

Poor girl had been sweating all day, pulling on her sweater every three seconds and scratching her wrists, probably because of the humidity affecting her smooth skin. Daniela had asked her about her wardrobe choice, but Carla only gave her a small smile and stated that she had really wanted to wear that shirt today. 

Odd, but not the tip of the iceberg. 

She had been jumpy, very distracted and she seemed to be keeping an eye on her surroundings. She wouldn’t even give a response to the gossip they heard from the customers, other than a very unenthusiastic  _ No Me Diga _ and some cheap gasps Daniela had last seen used in a kids TV show! 

At the end of the first day, Daniela decided to ask her once more if she was okay and if something had happened yesterday. Suspiciously, that resulted in Carla freaking out even more and trying to cover her panic with rather childish reasons as “allergies were making her skin itch”, “she couldn’t do her laundry due to the heat” and “she heard there were many spiders around this year which makes her want to clean”. It didn’t answer Daniela’s questions, it only made her more confused, and the situation worse. 

So seven painful days of witnessing Carla slowly lose her cool every time a customer entered, then try to act as if nothing had happened and smile. Seven days of the young latina entering with progressively more covering outfits and even baseball caps and scarves. Seven full days of Daniela being nice and not threatening Carla with a knife to spill the beans as to why she had been acting so distant. 

It was Wednesday morning and thankfully there weren’t many appointments, only one in the early morning and two near closing time, so the afternoon was rather empty for the three ladies working there. Daniela made sure that the ladies were cleaning and dusting the high shelves that were only used for stock photos of hairstyles, plus washing the hair equipment and restocking on hairspray and other hair products from the backroom.

Carla had been distancing herself from both of them rather slowly, but today it felt like she was light years away. She had been barely talking, not even making a peep, which had resulted in worrisome glances between the two remaining latinas. 

Vanessa cleared her throat and walked over to the side of the shop Carla had been hogging, organizing stacks of pictures and lists of prices. “‘ey Carla, Usnavi and I were gonna hit up the club on Friday after work. Want to come with?” Daniela smiled at hearing the undertone of concern in her voice, her back being turned so she hadn’t noticed the caught-in-the-headlight look Carla had given first. 

She heard some slight shuffling around in the background and turned around with salon capes in her arms. “Oh!” Carla’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, and Daniela dropped the capes on the counter, walking over to them to join in on the conversation. Carla’s eyes caught hers and quickly turned back to Vanessa. “I- Im not sure I can. Don’t have enough _dinero_ _este fin de semana_ ” Her voice was wavering, a telltale sign of lying when it comes to Carla.

Vanessa scoffs and rolls her eyes. The oldest frowns at that, it was obvious that Carla didn’t want to go out, but Vanessa didn’t quite notice that. It wasn’t Vanessa’s fault, the girl had some problems when it comes down to being observant. “It’s payday tomorrow,  _ babieca _ ” 

Carla’s fists clench and her jaw tightens. ‘’I haven’t been feeling that good lately, I think I'm getting sick” it was followed by a nervous and tense laugh. Daniela cringes lightly at the awkwardness of the moment. “So no,” the curly haired girl pauses “but thanks for asking” and with that, the conversation had one sidedly ended. Carla had turned her attention back on the photos. 

With furrowed brows, Vanessa glances back at Daniela, who shrugs. “What the hell has been up with you?”

The harsher tone Vanessa suddenly uses makes Carla shrink into herself, and the owner watches the young girl struggle with words before turning her head back towards Vanessa. “What?”

“You have been way too antisocial, you completely ditch our invitations and then make up half assed excuses to avoid us”

‘’It’s not- I’m just not feeling-’’ 

‘’Carla, all you’ve been thinking about is how you’re feeling.  _ ¿Pero nosotros pues? _ ’’ She hisses and Daniela has to step in soon, but she was wondering if this would bring out the truth from Carla. Maybe even the real reason why she was acting so distant. ‘’Have you ever thought about how this makes us feel?’’ 

Carla looked perplexed, her teeth worrying her bottom lip as her eyes roamed around the room instead of facing them. ‘’I’m sorry, but-’’ 

‘’No, Carla. You’re clearly not sorry’’ Vanessa throws her hands in the air out of frustration. ‘’Whatever it is that you’re doing, it isn’t you. So stop your game,  _ gilipollas _ , and have some fucking spirit’’ 

“Vanessa,” Daniela warns her from behind, sensing that whatever the outcome of their exchange would be, it won’t be positive. This was dangerously starting to reach personal insults, which Vanessa tends to be very ambitious about. 

She however doesn’t listen to the salon owner and reaches her hands towards Carla’s shoulders, just to physically shake her dumbness away. What she doesn’t count on is Carla tensing up and interpreting the movement as an attack.

“ _ Dije que no _ !” Carla suddenly shrieks, taking three steps back and glaring at them for a second, before seemingly realizing what she had done. Her face was twisting into an anxious frown and all the three ladies were standing silently with their eyes wide. 

When none of them makes a move to say anything, the salon owner steps in to make some damage control. She glances at the clock, noting she’s just past eleven. She could easily place a sign on the door that they were closed for an hour due to lunch. 

“Vanessa, why don’t you take your lunch break now?” Daniela calmly suggests, and Vanessa glances at the older lady, confused for a second as to what had just happened. She slowly nods when there weren't any follow up statements coming, and she walks out of the store a moment later, not before saying “i'll be back in an hour” to Daniela. 

When they hear the familiar pling of the bell as the door closes, they finally face each other. The sight of Carla on the verge of tears would have normally brought Daniela back down to earth, but she wasn’t having any of this right now. 

“I’m going to give you three minutes to explain” she was surprised that her voice was still calm and authoritative, despite her worry gnawing at her. There was another awkward pause whilst Carla focused her eyes on the capes that lay on the counter. ‘’ _ Literalmente usaré mis talones _ if you don’t spill’’ There it is, the iconic threat. 

‘’ _Nada_ , Dani. I’ve just been sleeping less and that has b--’’

‘’ _ Suficiente _ , Carla!’’ She harsly interrupts, taking a few haste steps closer and making the younger girl immediately shut up and clench her eyes shut, her shoulders tense and her hands coming up to protect herself a bit. 

Daniela winces, her mouth hanging open, and she was instantly feeling worse about what she had done. Her temper had gotten a better hold of her, and she was yet again dammed because of her impatience. The poor girl had clearly gone through something traumatic, and Daniela was currently only making things worse. Her mind couldn’t quite wrap around what her reaction could mean, obviously not good, but there was an underlying voice that somehow knew.

_ Somebody had hurt her.  _

‘’ _ Lo siento, cariño _ ’’ She quickly apologizes, and the younger girl starts shaking, her hands going up to grab her shoulders from trembling, but the tears were already pouring. ‘’No, no no no. Don’t cry, ’’ Daniela coos quietly, but she can’t move closer. She had seen where that had led Vanessa and herself just a minute ago. 

The girl slowly sinks down to the floor and, subconsciously, so does Daniela. She was mimicking every single movement Carla did, but slower. She couldn’t bear watching her best friend, her one true friend, be in such pain without being able to help her.

‘’Carlita, please tell me what you need’’ She tells her, hoping that she could hear her and tell her what to do. Emotions and dealing with another person's distressed ones has never been a strong suit for Daniela, even though she was a voice of reason for many. She had always been able to help Carla, but those were small surges of panic that came from small things, like cute dogs that she couldn’t pet because she was allergic. This was clearly not the same thing as dealing with a troubled Carla who wanted a Ibiza hound. It was one that was heartbroken.

She ached to reach out and touch her again, her hands trembling and hesitant with their movements, but she was slowly and awkwardly scurrying forward on her knees, not caring if her knees were going to get dirty because of the dust on the floor. 

‘’I-I need you, Dani’’ Came a whisper, and that was all the consent Daniela needed to swoop in next to her on the floor of the shop and pull Carla into her arms. She was met with an immediate response when Carla’s small hands wrapped around her back and clenched her dress, her head burrowing into her neck and staying there as she wailed on, barely taking any breaths. 

Daniela, not knowing what else to do, only held on and let her cry.

Ay, this was going to be a long day. 

\-- 

Daniela decides to bring Carla to her apartment, make her cozy, get them both something to eat and then be able to find herself a new dress that wasn’t wrinkled, dirty and wet. 

Not to say that Daniela was in any way mad at Carla for messing up her dress, because that would never happen. Her friend's emotional distress was far more important than one red dress, that admittedly she really liked, but she had plenty more at home. 

She made sure to bring in their fourth store member, Cuca, a very energetic lady who could easily be a match for Carla, to take care of the two appointments later that day. Cuca had been glad to help but Vanessa had been a bit worried. The poor girl had thought that the reason Carla and Daniela were going to take a day off was because of her. Which it truthfully was, but it wasn’t something they were going to hold over her head and they told her that it was all okay. 

The ride towards Daniela’s home was silent, only small sniffles being heard from Carla and low curses from Daniela as she tried not to drive anybody over. There had been way too many kids on the streets, probably because somebody had broken a fire hydrant and there was cold water flowing out like a fountain near main street. 

When she parks the car and shuts it off, she turns to find Carla snoozing off in the passenger seat, her young face filled with clear stress and her eyebrows twitching every now and then. If Daniela hadn’t known her for so long, she wouldn’t have noticed the dark circles underneath her eyes that had been skillfully covered with makeup. 

Daniela takes a moment to look at the girl, anger bubbling up in her when she wonders what or  _ who  _ made Carla look so exhausted when she was sleeping. The anger instantly disappears when she realises that the position she was sleeping in would really hurt her back and make her even more cranky.

‘’Carla’’ She softly coos, jumping when the girl immediately opens her big eyes and stares at Daniela. So maybe she hadn’t been sleeping. ‘’We’re here.’’ 

‘’I know,’’ Carla says with exhaustion, stepping out of the car without another word and waiting for Daniela to lock up and lead the way to her apartment. There had thankfully not been anybody hanging around her apartmentcomplex’s door like usual, so they slipped in unnoticed and climbed up the stairs. 

She opens the door and holds it for Carla, who slowly steps in and stands clumsily by the entrance. She had no clue of why, since Carla had been here multiple times before and never had she once reacted like that. Daniela has to tell her to go on in order for the younger to actually move. 

She rolls her eyes when Carla doesn’t take a seat on the couch with her, continuing to stand there as if she is waiting for orders. She has really had enough of this. Daniela can’t stand watching Carla behave like this anymore. ‘’Listen, I know you are going through something-’’ at that she notices Carla stiffen up ‘’-but I can’t live with watching you be in constant pain. That’s not how our relationship works’’ 

‘’I told you, Dani. I have just been having some nightmares-’’

‘’That doesn’t explain why you are wearing that shitshow of a hoodie,’’ Daniela states and glances at the thicc and colorful material, the prints on the front completely faded with only an impression of what it used to be. 

‘’I want to wear this’’ Carla huffs out, crossing her arms in feigned anger and looking everywhere but at Daniela. Her voice was a pitch too high, and the entire sentence was said with so little confidence that Daniela knew it was a lie, just like everything she has said since she had entered the store that morning. 

She gestures for the younger to sit down on the couch, and she is a bit saddened when Carla sits a few inches away, as if they were strangers talking to each other. She doesn’t let that bother her any further and sighs. 

‘’Why are you so defensive?  _ Bonita _ , you can tell me anything you want. You know I won’t judge or gossip about you,’’ she reassures her with a smile, trying to lighten the mood, and Carla stops pretending to be angry, her arms uncrossing and settling in her lap. 

She is quiet and nervous now, and Daniela arches an eyebrow when her moody behaviour from three minutes ago completely disappears. But she was tentative, sitting up straighter and making sure that Carla knew she was here for her, to listen to whatever it was that was bothering her. 

‘’I just- I… I can’t sleep at home, I can’t wear what I want to wear, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore, and I feel so-’’ She bites her lower lip again, making the older wince. According to Daniela, that was one of the worst anxious habits one could pick up, and she felt an immense amount of agony when watching others do so.

Daniela slowly brings a hand to brush away a handful of curls that have messily fallen in front of Carla’s face, then to gently caress her cheeks with a loving gaze. The movement thankfully didn’t make Carla panic, in fact she seemed to lean into it a bit and stop chewing on her once sleek and smooth lips. Now they were chapped and scarred due to her biting behaviour. 

What made Carla panic was the look Daniela was giving her, and she suddenly felt like a basket case. This wasn’t Daniela’s job, she didn’t need to take care of her and she most certainly doesn’t have to bring her to her apartment, give her food and water, and then console her. Daniela was suddenly giving her loving glances and careful smiles, something usual but these ones were filled with so much emotion. 

‘’Stop doing that,’’ She carefully says, and Daniela misunderstands and drops her hand from her, some panic evident in her face but not enough to make those understanding eyes go away. Carla shakes her head. This was way too out of character for Daniela. ‘’Stop looking at me like that’’ 

‘’Carlita-’’ her worried tone and expression causes Carla to scurry further away from her on the couch, her body starting to heave in panic as her eyes dart around the room. She was starting to sense that it was a mistake coming here. 

‘’No, stop. You don’t have to force yourself to be nice to me, Dani!’’ She explains, and Daniela’s eyebrows furrow in response. Both from confusion and from outrage. ‘’This, all of this,’’ Carla stands up and waves her hands around the apartment ‘’This isn’t you. You don’t just take care of random people, unless you’re getting paid!’’ 

‘’Well, I am expecting a venmo from you later’’ Daniela jokes, but Carla doesn’t find it amusing.’’ _ Conejito _ , will you relax?’’

‘’I CAN’T RELAX!’’ She screams, brushing a hand through her tangled hair, then getting angry when it gets stuck to some knots. Carla harshly pulls her hand away and stares at it angrily, before crying out ‘’AND I HATE WHEN YOU CALL ME THAT!’’ 

‘’Ok, I’ll stop-’’

‘’AND I HATE THESE  _ MALDITA _ CLOTHES!’’ She continues ranting whilst pulling her hoodie over her head in a haste movement, completely ignoring Daniela who was turning red when she also pulls off her tank top that was underneath, leaving her in only a bra and jeans. ‘’AND I HATE THAT I CAN’T BE AS STRONG AS YOU AND VANESSA!’’ 

The last statement shocked Daniela, especially how she had delivered it with a heart throbbing sob at the end. She can only watch as Carla, in a panicked haze, starts scratching her arms with her long fingernails, leaving angry red lines all the way down. Daniela realized that this is definitely not the time to watch on, she has to do something. 

‘’Carla!’’ Her thick accent comes in, dragging out the r as Daniela stands up and takes a hold of her hands, making the younger's breath hitch and body tense up. Her thoughts told her to instantly release her, but Carla pulls her closer and for the second time that day, the second time in two hours, she drops her forehead to Daniela’s shoulder and clings to her. 

Automatically, she rests a hand on Carla’s exposed back and awkwardly rubs soothing circles there, trying everything she knows to calm her down. Daniela was struck at how fragile and small her friend suddenly felt, now that the layers of clothing were out of the way. She had known Carla hadn’t been eating at work, but she didn’t know it had been this bad.

So she tried using small, meaningful sentences like ‘’It’s okay’’, ‘’ _ No llores _ ’’ and ‘’you’re strong’’ to calm her down, keep her mind at ease. She even whispered ‘’Im here’ once or twice, even though Daniela hadn’t been there for her seven days ago when it all started. It however seemed to quiet Carla down, her sobs having subsided, but there were still small sniffles here and there. 

When the younger stopped gripping onto her for dear life, Daniela could finally take a deep breath herself. The feeling of having a shirtless Carla in her arms was not an unwelcome one, it was just the wrong time to be thinking of anything like that. ‘’Are you okay?’’

‘’I’m just so tired’’ Carla complains softly, letting out a yawn and turning her face into Daniela’s neck. The warm breaths were making her shiver, but she took another deep breath to steady her thinking. 

‘’Let’s get you in bed’’ She quietly murmurs, and Carla nods, silently agreeing and letting herself be dragged along to the comfortable and warm bed. One the way, Daniela made sure to go to the bathroom and bring with her makeup wipes and a small bottle of hand sanitizer, to clean up her arms with. 

‘’Carla,  _ por favour _ . Will you tell me what happened?’’ She asked softly when they had arrived at her bedroom. There were multiple dresses and shoes scattered around the room, and for a moment that had nearly made Carla smile at the familiarity, but the question asked by Daniela held it back

‘’I was, I was just walking home. Same time, same way.  _ Nada nuevo _ .’’ she starts slowly, her hands gripping Daniela’s, who had no intention of letting go. Daniela urges the younger girl to lay down on the bed to relax, sitting down by her side and watching her carefully as she brings the covers over her trembling body. ‘’I didn’t do anything, but somebody approached me. He asked me out to dance, but I said I wasn’t interested. I told him no multiple times…’’ Carla cried out and Daniela’s jaw clenched, her form going still. 

‘’Oh’’ Was all she could say in a breathless tone. Carla looked up at her with her tear filled eyes, her lost expression breaking Daniela’s heart. Her sweet Carla, her wonderful and gentle Carla, a person whom she was so used to seeing smiling every day and thinking only about the positives, was hurt because of some goddamn degenerate. And Daniela had no idea what to do about it, or even what to say. 

‘’He just kept touching me, even when I pushed him off multiple times... And I feel so dirty,  _ tan sucia y asquerosa _ ’’ Carla quietly said, and suddenly she had let go of Daniela’s hands, curling into a ball and covering her entire body with the sheets. 

Daniela hesitantly placed a hand over her shoulder, checking at first if Carla was okay with that, before lightly stroking it, attempting to give her some sort of comfort. The older tries to think of something smart to tell her, something that might release some stress from the girl's life, but she was having difficulties coming to the right words, or the right thing to say. 

‘’I can’t - I can’t help but think that I didn’t do enough-’’ Carla’s voice spoke up again, trembling with anxiety, and Daniela can’t hear any more of her self-deprecation. 

‘’Carla, that’s not true!’’ Daniela immediately interrupts, using a soft but powerful voice that shut her up. ‘’Never ever say that this is your fault, don’t even think about it!’’She scolds her lightly, and Carla nods, Daniela noticing because her movement made the sheets shift. 

Daniela sighs and squeezes her arm reassuringly, her mind starting to wander. So Carla had been dealing with a sexual assault all alone, which really does explain her behaviour the last few days. It was absolutely frustrating that men like that existed. Not even just men, women too. It was especially frustrating to know that Carla had been a victim, and that it had happened here in the Barrio. Daniela doesn’t know exactly what had happened, and truthfully she doesn’t want to know the details. She doesn’t want to know how her friend had been hurt. ‘’… Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’’

‘’I was scared’’ Carla honestly replies, and Daniela feels a bit queasy at hearing that.

‘’Do- Do I scare you?’’ She can’t help but ask, remembering how she had made Carla shrink into herself and flinch when raising her voice earlier at the salon. There was an indefinite pause that frightened Daniela, and for a moment she thought that this was Carla’s way of telling her that yes, she was scared of her and to leave. 

She sees the younger shift out from under the sheets, her curly hair spread all over the pillow and her face. ‘’I feel safe with you.  _ Para siempre _ ,’’ Carla finally whispers, reaching out a hand from under the covers and implying that she wanted to hold hands again. When Daniela carefully places their hands together, there was a moment of peace they both felt, and Carla smiled a genuine smile for the first time in a little over a week. ‘’I really like you’’ she confesses, then closes her eyes and nuzzles into the cover. It smelled like Daniela, which made her doze off. 

\-- 

When she had awoken, sadly only an hour after sleeping, she was pleased to know that she hadn’t dreamt of anything remotely reminding her of that night. There hadn’t even been a dream, it was just quiet and then waking time. 

She slowly rose from the bed, taking notice that she hadn't let go of Daniela’s hand and that said woman was currently sitting on the floor, her arms and head on the bed and in deep sleep. Carla’s first reaction was embarrassment, that she had actually followed Daniela home, had two breakdowns in front of her and then slept on the bed whilst the owner of the apartment slept on the floor.

The second reaction was distress when she felt Daniela stir awake, and hearing her groaning in discomfort from her position made Carla angry at herself. Before she could apologize, Daniela lets out an obnoxiously loud yawn whilst stretching her back with her eyes clenched shut, one so dramatic that it made Carla stifle a laugh. 

The older woman hadn’t noticed Carla had been awake and whipped her head towards her, her mouth hanging open in surprise, but she recovers quickly and stands up. She was a bit wobbly at first, but she got her stance right after a few seconds.‘’I completely forgot about cleaning those up!’’ She exclaims hurriedly and with worry, reaching to her table where she had placed the forgotten wipes and antiseptic. 

‘’What?’’ Carla asks, a bit confused though mostly sad that Daniela had let go of her hand. 

‘’Your cuts,  _ mi querida _ ’’ She explains as she shuffles on the bed, sitting right next to her and handing her the wipes, telling her to clean off the make up as well. Carla stood still for a second due to shock before hissing out in pain at feeling the cream on her skin. 

‘’AY, tell me before you put that on me!’’ She complains, her face wrinkling in discomfort as Daniela only whispers a sorry and continues working in the cream to the now faded lines. She notices Daniela stop for a moment when applying the cream, seemingly realizing that this was not the first time Carla had had an attack like that. 

She thankfully doesn’t say anything more about it, and Carla was really glad for that. She really did not want to talk more about the ‘’accident’’ today. When she doesn’t feel any stinging anymore, she finally uses the pack of wipes and takes off her stack of foundation and concealer. 

They were both quiet for a while, Carla working on removing all of her make up and using several wipes whilst Daniela only watched on. Carla tried to look as happy as she could, because she somehow felt a bit relieved, but it's more of a half assed attempt that makes her smile feel too forced. 

‘’I think I’m hungry’’ She states mid wipe, suddenly realizing that her stomach was hurting her because of the lack of food yet she was unsure if she could eat something right now. Daniela smiles sadly at her. 

‘’I have some leftover polish perogies, want some?’’ ‘’Yes please.’’

‘’Good, now go put on your top. You know i don’t believe in curtains and i don’t want the neighbors to talk’’


	2. 30 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They eat and talk

Daniela told Carla that she should sleep in her apartment until she feels comfortable enough to sleep on her own. The younger had been very shocked by her offer, but she had gladly accepted it, after of course asking multiple times if that really was okay. That’s how their arrangement had started, and that was how Carla was slowly and carefully starting to relearn who she was. 

Their arrangement was simple, only a few extra steps in their normal and returning routine. 

Carla would be sleeping in Daniela’s apartment, coming there around eight o’clock after work. She hadn’t dared come by any time after, since she still didn’t trust anything after dark, and that truly wasn’t a problem for Daniela. The younger would bring a small bag with her essentials for sleeping, and they would spend the night together. 

In the morning, Carla would often be awake before Daniela and would leave to go to her own apartment 10 minutes away, bringing back her bag and a small fruity bar Daniela had started buying specifically for her. She wanted to help her recover in every way she could, and the bar was highly appreciated by Carla. 

Their sleeping arrangement was that Daniela would be sleeping on her bed whilst Carla slept on an inflatable mattress, making the room a bit cramped at night. By morning, Carla would have quietly pushed the bed horizontally to the side, leaning against an empty wall to make room for Daniela’s morning routine. It was a small and very helpful movement. 

By now, a little less than three weeks later, Carla had started to relax a bit more. She was still wearing long sleeved shirts, but they were at least shirts that fit her style of clothing. She would often find herself unconsciously skipping meals for the day, but Daniela would always have something in her fridge that she told her to eat, which was very convenient for Carla. She would deny the invitations to go out for the night, but she was much more focused in the narrative and was back to talking with Vanessa, who seemed to sourly accept that she wasn’t going to get anymore information about what had happened. (Or at least not yet)

She would now be found laughing again with Daniela and Vanessa and joining in sometimes on the gossip she hears on the streets, even if she still felt uncomfortable talking with the ladies. Ever since the… Incident… she had felt the need to distance herself from those chatting ladies, because if they heard anything they would spread her story to everyone else in the Barrio. 

When Carla was done trimming Maya’s hair, a frequent and very chatty customer, she sighs in relief. Maya had thankfully only shared a lot of unnecessarily detailed encounters with men the past few weeks, something Daniela and Vanessa had listened to and were very engaged in. Carla herself was more focused on the hair, trying very hard not to flinch or look too disgusted with everything Maya was describing, but she was also a bit distracted by how involved Daniela was in the conversation. 

It was a bit surprising, because Carla had thought Daniela had no interest in talking about men, but here she was suddenly found, agreeing with Maya whenever she insulted one of the many men she had bedded. It was rather out of character for her to be the one who blatantly complained about relationships and sex. 

Maya left the shop after paying, and Vanessa groans loudly. ‘’That girl is way too young to get an STD’’

Daniela laughs throatily, a sound that makes Carla back over to them from the cashier to hear what they are talking about, and to be generally closer to them. ‘’She’s in for a surprise when she hits thirty’’ Daniela grins, leaning her shoulder against Carla’s when the younger was standing close enough. ‘’Every man she will see will turn 180 degrees’’ she jokes, and Carla wonders if that was true. Maybe she now has something to look forward to when she’s thirty. 

‘’Is that your problem?’’ Vanessa smirks, and Daniela gasps in offence, meanwhile Carla giggles at the overdramatic reaction. 

‘’Better watch your mouth,  _ Cabrona _ , I can easily fire you’’ Daniela snaps in feigned anger, flicking one of the hair clips in Vanessa's direction with precision. The clip hit her shoulder and Vanessa plaid along, as if she had been shot, and held her shoulder with a shrill howl. Daniela rolls her eyes and comments on how she should’ve been an actress instead of a hairdresser. 

When the time passes and lunch rolls on, Daniela calls for Carla to join her for lunch in the backroom, which honestly surprised Carla.

”I didn’t bring anything..?” Carla slowly says, feeling as if this fact had been a known knowledge for over a month. Daniela nods knowingly and still expresses for Carla to come along with her hands. 

“I know, I brought your food with me. Some of that vegan stuff you like with pasta” Daniela explains casually, as if this wasn’t a major thing. Nobody in the Barrio understood why Carla chose to eat something without meat in it, especially when she ate that white block without having to or needing to in any way. Although the confusion, Daniela still respected Carla enough to not question it more than once. 

“You made me tofu?” Carla asks with disbelief in her face, and Daniela smiles. 

“Not homemade, store bought” She teases and opens the small fridge in the start of the backroom, where two containers the same size were stacked. Carla flushes a bit at her tone, always embarrassed when she assumes things beforehand. Trying not to seem flustered, she curiously focuses her gaze at the container Daniela hands to her, looking at it as if it was some strange creature. 

She sits down on the sofa that was placed awkwardly by the door, the only function it really served was when Vanessa had had a terrible night at her apartment with her mother and would use it as a makeshift bed. Now that she had moved out they could have gotten rid of it, but it became too much of a hassle to do so, so it stayed. 

Daniela sat down next to Carla, opening the lid of her food and revealing a pasta salad with chicken and bacon bits. Carla opened her own and found pretty much the same thing, but with small cube shaped tofu scattered around the top, that was a sweet golden brown color. She hesitated before picking up a piece of tofu with her fingers, placing the cube in her mouth and finding it  hard on the outside, but spongy and soft inside with the hint of basil as marination- exactly how she likes them.

Her big eyes turn to the side and find Daniela expectantly looking at her, two sets of plastic utensils in her hand that are usually found on airplanes, and she was speechless. “You brought me my favourite food,’’ Carla states after inspecting every aspect and ingredient in the small container for the second time. ‘’Why?’’

Daniela pauses mid bite, then slowly chews on her food as she ponders. Carla’s eyes never let her out of her sight, and she finds it hard to understand Daniela’s train of thoughts that had led up to this moment, which was rather unusual. Daniela’s actions were often very explainable. 

She returns back from her thoughts when Daniela sighs and places the container next to her on the couch. She puts a leg above the other and places her elbow on it, leaning her head on her hand and looking back at her with a serious expression that made Carla feel a chill down her back. 

‘’Why do you think I did it?’’ Daniela asks her instead, turning the question around and making Carla squirm a bit. 

‘’I’m- is it because I forgot to eat the sandwich you left me yesterday?’’ 

‘’No- Well a bit, yes, but there’s another reason’’ Daniela answers, then leans her back on the couch and looks at her lap. ‘’When I was in highschool I hung out with a ton of kids who were such bad influence, the type to criticize everything about you.’’ She started slowly, and Carla was momentarily stunned that she was going to tell her about her life back before she moved to Washington Heights from Vega Alta. 

‘’One summer crop tops and belly piercings started becoming a huge hit, just like today, and I along with my friends decided to go out shopping for new clothes’’ She snarls when she says friends, Carla notes to herself as she shuffles closer on the couch and forks some pasta and another piece of tofu, eating it whilst listening on. ‘’I tried on some clothes and went to show them, and those  _ zorras _ told me that it wasn’t my style.’’She pauses for a second, then inhales deeply. ‘’That I had a protruding belly’’ Daniela finishes, and Carla arches her brows in surprise.

‘’That comment made me freak out, more than I let on, and I started living such an unhealthy life, trying whatever I could to look like somebody they would find more appealing.’’ She closes her eyes. ‘’It ended when me and my  _ mama _ flew here a year later, when I found people who liked me without thinking of my body. Abuela Claudia actually made me eat under her supervision for a while until she saw that I could handle this by myself.’’ She laughs a bit at the memory, and Carla smiles fondly at the thought of an unimpressed Claudia watching over her. Her smile drops when she realizes what Daniela’s point of that story was, and because she was sad her friend had gone through something like that.

Daniela turns her eyes back on Carla. ‘’It’s not the same thing you’re dealing with, and I am not trying to belittle your feelings, but back then all I wanted was _ una amiga o un ser querido _ .’’ She tells her softly. ‘’I’m concerned about you, Carla, but you keep finding excuses to not seek help’’ 

Carla would have found this conversation rather reassuring if it hadn’t been for the last part, and hearing that Daniela thought her reasons were excuses made her furrows her eyebrows then glare at her. ‘’Excuses? What is that supposed to mean?’’ She leans back and Daniela’s eyes widen. 

‘’No, I didn’t mean to say it like that.  _ Lo siento _ ,’’ Daniela relaxes a bit when Carla sits straighter again, but her face was still twisted in a slight scowl. ‘’I am just trying to tell you that I can’t watch this go on for any longer, and -’’ 

Carla abruptly stands up, placing the lid back on her container and carelessly tossing it on the couch in a haste movement, which causes it to topple over the side and land on the floor. The lid wasn’t on properly, and some of it spilled out, but Carla was too busy frowning to care for it. 

Her reaction surprised Daniela, who gaped at her and tried whatever she could to not yell at her for throwing away food, but she only huffed out an angry breath from her nose. ‘’What are-’’ 

‘’I don’t want to go to some therapist just because you told me so,’’ she says, and Daniela has ro yet again take a deep breath before saying anything to Carla. She stands up and opens her mouth, only to be surprised when Carla takes a step closer and points a finger to Daniela’s chest. ‘’And YOU know I am already getting help-’’ 

Daniela scoffs, and crosses her arms. ‘’Do you really think that church confessions will make you feel better?’’ She says offhandedly, mostly due to her hot temper, and Carla tenses up. Redrawing her hand from her, the younger hesitates for a second, then makes a clumsy, first strike.

As if this was some telenovela, Daniela gasps loudly when she feels a weak-but-still-there punch to her shoulder. It didn’t hurt Daniela one bit but she still made a sound of pain unconsciously, neither did it have to make Daniela move back by it’s force, but it did in shock. The moment shocked them both, and Carla seemed horrified at what she had just done, her eyes watering and her guilty hand being covered by the other one and held tightly against her chest.

She hated crying, she hated feeling weak, she hated being confronted about her issues, but what she hated most of all was violence. And now here she was, being no better than the man that had touched and hurt her a month ago. She felt sick, just enough to vomit, but her legs were stuck in place and she couldn’t move. 

Daniela lightly strokes her arm, the surprised look on her face enough to convey that she had never seen this coming. ‘’Carla?’’ she softly says, taking a little step closer to her. When Carla still doesn’t move, her eyes trained on the floor and her tears streaming down her face, Daniela comes close enough to gently pull Carla into her arms. 

It was uncomfortable at first, mostly due to the stiffness and hard knuckles being pushed against her chest, yet Daniela didn’t care about her own comfortability, only pulling her tighter until Carla gave in with a sob. Her clasped hands let go and go around her lower back, her face turning to Daniela’s hair and neck.

‘’I’m sorry, I'm so sorry. Dani, I am so sorry, please forgive me. I'm sorry!’’ She cries and Daniela knows that already, and expertly rubs long ovals on her back, this movement somehow always making Carla able to follow the motion and breath. ‘’I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry’’ she continues, and Daniela sighs. 

In truth, this would’ve been a pretty big deal for Daniela, since she was against all types of abuse, but she can’t help but feel sympathy towards Carla. She acts on her feelings, that are never violent and won’t be again, but Daniela guesses that she had cornered her too soon. That of course doesn’t give anyone the right to slap someone, that will never be right.

‘’It’s okay, Carlita. Just breathe for me,’’ she tells her soothingly, then smiles. ‘’It’s okay as long as you never abuse  _ mi clavícula _ ever again’’ She says, even though it doesn’t edict the usual short breathed laugh she always gets when attempting to light the mood. 

‘’It’s not okay, Daniela’’ Carla quiets down, her shoulders slumping and her body leaning heavily against Daniela now. This was starting to become quite the workout, even if it was with light weight. ‘’I’m sorry, I will never ever do that again’’ She says with such promise in her voice, and Daniela nods. She knows. 

‘’I’m certain you won't’’ She says and Carla looks up at Daniela. They were still very close in proximity, too close for looking at each other, and Carla tenses up a bit at the close up. 

‘’I'm scared’’ she confesses and pulls back, even though their arms were still around each other. 

‘’I know’’

‘’Can you wait?’’

Daniela nods. ‘’Can you promise we will talk more about this?’’

‘’...I promise’’

\--

‘’Daniela?’’ Carla asks that night before going to bed. Daniela places her book down and looks over to the edge of the bed, where the mattress lies. 

‘’Yes?’’

There was an awkward amount of sounds the mattress makes as Carla shifts on it and sits up on her knees, looking at her through the dimly lit room that the candles brightened. They both enjoyed the soothing effect the candles had instead of the bedside lamp with it’s harsher glow.

‘’Do you still sometimes feel like… Like you did before?’’ She tentatively asks, and Daniela closes her book and puts it on the nightstand, thinking over her question. She knows exactly what Carla was asking, and it was cute how careful she was when asking it. 

‘’Everybody has bad days, Carla.’’ Daniela responds, then asks her if she was ready to blow out the candles.  ‘’Not yet’’ Carla mumbles and settles back down on the mattress. A few minutes later, Daniela notices that Carla had fallen asleep and blows out the candles herself. She may or may not also whisper ‘’goodnight,  _ mi vida _ ’’ before falling asleep herself.


	3. 44 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They dance

Two weeks pass by and they have talked once about therapy, for the duration of three whole minutes. It wasn’t enough, Daniela knew that, but it was a step in the right direction, a step closer to progress. Carla was still sleeping over at her apartment, and it has now become a habit to go home with Carla, make her lunch as if she was some housewife and spend hours with her.

Sure, she enjoyed doing all of those things, but they were starting to really change her. It was all starting to add up to Daniela realizing her feelings for Carla, and desperately trying to push them down every time they arrived out of nowhere. She felt too domestic around Carla now, making each day a bit more intense.

There had been a huge commotion going on outside of the salon, since apparently Sonny and Usnavi had installed a new cooler that sold ice cold mojitos in a can, perfect for the summer weather. A gang of street kids had brought their beatbox and were currently having a dance battle against the De La Vega boys, who were losing.

Carla had wanted to see them, so she had dragged Daniela along with her by the hand, loudly exclaiming that it was break time. Daniela grumply went along, but she thought it was cute how excited Carla had been over seeing the new cooler and the dance battle.

There were a bunch of people gathered around, many of them customers to the bodega, but they still were able to get a closer view of the dance battle. They were just in time for one of the street kids to do a flip off the wall and for the others to scream in excitement at his move. It was admittedly pretty cool, and even the de la vega boys were impressed. (not that they could do any better)

When the dance was done, Usnavi and Sonny pulled in Vanessa and Benny to dance, and the upbeat song that was playing on the radio switched to an old bolero Camila had recommended for them to play. There were even more cheers when Kevin and Camila themselves started dancing, their style slow and romantic.

Carla twirls around to face Daniela, her smile anxious but still excited. ‘’I want to dance’’ she states with a shy smile, and Daniela was momentarily shocked. She had not expected that from Carla this early on. (Or was it early? She supposes that it’s different for everyone when coping with something like this)

But she complies and twirls Carla back around without missing a beat from the song, grinning when Carla laughs in surprise at her movement, but then does a 180 and joins in with Daniela gently leading. The older notes the much less exaggerated movements Carla makes, but she still had the same rhythm and moves as before.

It was fun when nobody was paying attention to them, since everybody else was busy dancing with a free partner or their significant other. It also felt good, Carla notes to herself. It felt like she was back to being herself again, without any of the bad ever happening. With Daniela, everything felt good.

She blushed at the thought, not wanting to think of anything like that right now, when Daniela is suddenly dragged away from her by the arm, and into Sonny’s drastically different style of dance. Her eyes catch Carla’s, trying to ask for some sort of help out of this situation, but Carla only laughs at her distressed face.

The younger joins in with Vanessa soon after, who was slinging across from partner to partner, and both girls laugh when they bump into each other. ‘’Look who’s dancing again!’’ Vanessa grins whilst going around Carla, holding her waist meanwhile Carla twirls the other direction.

All too quick, the song changes and Vanessa was back on the road, finding a new free partner to dance with. When she turns to find herself a new partner, preferably Daniela, she realizes that Pete was coming her way.

Oh No.

Her breath hitches when Pete starts getting too close to her personal space, which had increased a significant amount since last time they danced together. Her face was motionless for a moment, before realizing that this was what happened last time.

She reacts when he is close enough to touch her, and she lightly shoves him back with a frown, not liking her new habit of being aggressive against her friends.

‘’Carla?!’’ He yelps, the push surprising him and making him back up a few steps. She was finally able to breath now that he was further away, and that he seemed to keep his distance away from her, sensing something was wrong. ‘’What’s up?’’

‘’I- am not interested…’’

‘’What? We always dance together’’ Pete raises an eyebrow, making a great point that Carla has to think for a second. She likes Pete, he was nice and a great partner to dance with… sometimes. It was unfair of her to diss him without an actual explanation, and she wasn’t one to come up with great and believable lies on the spot.

‘’Well, yes but now I’m -’’ Carla pauses, because she wasn’t sure what she was actually going to say to him. Yes, but now I'm traumatised by men and won’t ever feel comfortable around them? She feels that saying that would be too harsh, since she was starting to relish being around Usnavi and his friends again. Yes, but now I’m mentally scarred and dancing with men makes me freak out? That seemed like a good response, but maybe skip the being mentally scarred part. Yes, but-

Daniela’s warm hand around her waist wakes her up from her thoughts, and she feels thankful to have her back by her side right now. She most certainly couldn’t deal with this by herself. Unconsciously, Carla leans back and into Daniela, their shoulders and hips bumping together.

‘’Beat it, street boy’’ Daniela nodded for him to leave, then leaned her head closer to Carla’s ear to whisper for her that they can leave if she wanted to. Carla could only nod as she watches Pete be genuinely confused, opening his mouth to protest again, but then seemingly realizing something.

‘’Oh, you two together now?’’ He states, as if it was to be expected, and Daniela sputters, her head whipping towards him with her mouth open. Carla’s face turns red, and she takes a few steps away from Daniela, to create some distance and make Daneial’s arm drop down from her waist.

‘’ _Que_?’’ Daniela says in surprise, both at Carla stepping away and Pete’s ridiculous statement.

Before Pete could elaborate, Sonny had yet again swooped in and betted for them to have a rematch, even though they both had nothing to bet on. Pete took him up for his offer and ran off, yelling out a half assed apology to them.

‘’What the fuck?’’ Daniela asked herself, running a hand through her hair. Carla shrugs and says that she was going back to the salon, and the older doesn’t have time to ask her if she was okay, since the commotion was now over and a new dance battle had started.

\--

‘’Daniela, can we dance?’’ She speaks up after dinner that day, her mind having been occupied throughout the rest of the evening. Daniela smiles gently and picks up her dirty plate, gesturing for Carla to hand over her own. She places them in the sink and turns around.

‘’Only if you feel like it’’ and much like earlier, Carla excitedly grabs Daniela’s hand and pulls her out of the kitchen.

‘’Then let’s dance’’ She grins, her ipod already playing her favourite songs and connecting it to the small speaker in the living room. Unlike earlier, neither of them held back on their skills this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortest chapter


	4. 67 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the Rosarios might’ve been a bad idea

Today was a great day because they were all so excited to have Nina fly in to meet them all again, which is always a treat. Benny had been practically over the moon and would be seen walking much lighter than usual around the streets. Daniela, Carla and Vanessa were also very excited to have her back in. 

Currently, the two latter ladies were away and helping Camila set up for the traditional welcome back party the Rosarios always host. Daniela had been glad to see Carla feel brave enough to embrace the world again without her by her side, but it sure started to feel lonely when she was the only one in the store. And she admittedly missed Carla. 

The bell of the salon plings and Daniela turns around from moving the chairs to mop underneath, fixing a scowl on her face to tell whoever had entered to get the hell out because they were closed. The scowl disappears when she sees the golden child, Nina, standing there with a giant smile. 

‘’Nina!  _ Mija _ !’’She exclaims in surprise and joy, dropping the mop on the floor and engulfing her friend in a hug. ‘’Damn, your hair is so frizzly!’’ Daniela portrays in feigned horror as she pulls away and tugs lightly at her hair. 

‘’What? No! I got it fixed just before flying here!’’ Nina complains, falling for Daniela’s scheme as she tries to comb through her hair with her fingers, making the salon owner smirk. Nina notices her mischievous face after a few moments of panic, and she rolls her eyes and lets her hair go. ‘’Hardee-har, Daniela’’ She mumbles, and Daniela rolls her eyes in amusement. 

She gestures for the younger to sit down as she picks up the mop from the floor, deciding that she had done enough cleaning for the day and that the salon didn’t need anymore attention, especially when Nina was here. It was always a treat to see her friend, a person who Daniela sometimes thought of as her own younger sister. 

She reaches for her purse and sends a small message to Carla, notifying her that Nina was at the shop and that she should come by if she had the time. ‘’How's the busy life then,  _ la jefa _ ? Are you busy stressing at college?’’ she teases her and Nina groans. 

‘’God, can’t anybody ask about everything else but college?’’ She plops down on a chair, swirling around and grinning like a child as she did so. Daniela smiles softly at her, her smile growing when she gets a message back from Carla and reads it. 

Nina leans in her chair to see who Daniela had gotten a message from, and she giggles when she sees them text rapidly. She would’ve been a bit offended that Daniela was texting Carla instead of talking with someone she hadn’t seen in months, but Nina was never that easily insulted.

‘’So, how are things going between you and Carla?’’ Nina smirks, and Daniela stops in her tracks. She turns around and stares at her, trying to read whatever her expression and tone was supposed to mean. She was implying something that Daniela knew she wouldn’t like. 

‘’Like usual? What are you trying to say?’’ 

Nina laughs and rolls her eyes, leaning in further and grinning like a maniac. ‘’Some little birdie told me,’’ she starts, imitating what Daniela would often say before she drops some real juicy gossip she had heard that day. Daniela’s eyebrows furrow, wondering what the girl had heard. ‘’That you and Carla are together’’

Her jaw clenches, and she swallows thickly at hearing that. (The second time was as much of a shock as the first. Also, why the hell did she just now hear about this? From Nina of all people?) ‘’What?’’ she slowly asks, unsure if she had heard it right. Nina doesn’t seem to take in Daniela's face of outrage, even if it was a very easy emotion to define on her face. 

‘’Yolanda told me an hour ago! Said that Pete had told her weeks ago, but she was unsure of it until she saw Carla enter your apartment and leave the morning after, wearing the same clothes! And that it wasn’t the first time!’’ 

‘’Yolanda told you that?’’ Daniela growls, her frown now obvious to Nina. Yolanda and Pete, technically, but it was still Yolanda who had spread it. Oh god, she should’ve made it clear to Pete that they weren’t together instead of standing there looking stunned. Nina’s laughter subsides when she sees Daniela’s perplexed expression, and she gasps. 

‘’Oh shit, did you guys want to keep it a secret?’’ 

‘’Did you honestly believe that somebody like Yolanda would tell anything but lies?’’ she ignores her question, her focus only on what that bitch Yolanda had told the entire Barrio about her and Carla. Now most certainly wasn’t the time for a scandalous relationship about them to be spread, and Carla would  _ most certainly _ be upset about that.

(Perhaps it was a bit harsh to call Yolanda a bitch for doing something so typical, but her hot temper always makes her call people unpleasant names) 

‘’So, Carla wasn’t at your apartment?’’

‘’Well, yes she was,’’At that, Nina’s eyebrows rise in surprise, either because she didn’t think Daniela would flat out tell her that or because she thought the entire thing was a lie. ‘’-but not for the reason you think!’’ She quickly and vaguely explains, not wanting to drop any more unnecessary comments about Carla’s life. ‘’I can’t believe that skank would say that to you’’ She hisses, her temper starting to get out of hand, and that usually meant that she was about to be destructive. She turns to Nina, who finally pieced together that what she had heard was fake news. ‘’I can’t believe that you, out of all the people, would believe that as well!’’

‘’Daniela, people talk about what they see. Also, I’m not at fault for believing something like that! It is very believable’’ Nina defends, but the salon owner was still furious. If only these nosy people knew what Carla had been through, the real reason why she was staying over Daniela’s apartment, they would most certainly start gossiping even more.

Some would even be sick enough to say that it was Carla’s fault, that she should’ve been stronger and been able to defend herself better. Or that she might’ve even liked it-

‘’ _ Hijo de puta! _ ’’ Daniela screams in frustration, throwing her purse harshly on the table and flopping down on the salon chair next to Nina, her hand combing through her hair carefully so as to not mess it up. She and Carla had spent an hour on it this morning and she was not going to mess it up before lunch had even arrived.

Carla this and Carla that, when the hell had her life only been about Carla? She didn’t recall ever having such strong emotions for the young Latina before, or she might’ve had them before but never realized it- And now she was thinking of Carla again! She wasn’t some teenage girl with a crush, this was getting way out of hand! She really needs to put herself out there again, stop hovering over the same person. (Even if she really likes to)

That’s when her mind drifts to what Nina had said a minute ago. ‘’What do you mean that it’s believable?’’ 

Nina shifts uncomfortably under the elders stone cold glare, but she doesn’t back down. ‘’Well, you two are always together, no matter the situation. And Carla is clearly only interested in you, and the same goes for you..’’ Nina slowly explains, rolling her fingers together and trying to look confident. 

Daniela gasps and wrinkles her nose at hearing that, her face turning a shade redder as she tries to come up with a good enough defence. She holds her tongue from spilling anymore curse words, and Nina knew she had strung a cord in Daniela. 

According to Nina, she had always thought of Carla and Daniela being together. Ever since she had been nine years old and watched an 18 year old Carla drop out of school to help Daniela with the salon her mother had left her, and how they were always seen together. She had never even seen Daniela nor Carla date anybody and she was almost positive that they both had never ever been in a serious relationship. 

Until now, when they are going to finally get together and love each other! Her younger self screams at her, and Nina smiles as she agrees. ‘’Oh come on, you guys are literally perfect for each other. I have never meet anybody who can put up with your shit as much as Carla does!’’ Nina points out with disbelief in her voice, clearly outraged that their slowburn was way too slow paced. 

‘’Well, it’s still never going to happen’’ Daniela protests, and Nina raises an eyebrow. 

‘’Why not?’’ she asks, unimpressed by Daniela’s feeble attempt at denying the tension that was clearly there.

‘’Carla’s religious, her pastor has literally told her that being gay is a sin’’ she clarifies, taking a deep breath and opening up her flip phone to check the messages again. There were no new ones, but she made it seem like she was replying to somebody, hoping that the conversation would somehow end. 

Daniela always felt uncomfortable when talking about religion and belief, mostly because she has never been as insistent about there being a god as her parents had been when she was younger. Back in the days when she was forced to go to church with her mother, or when she would sometimes accompany Abuela Claudia and Usnavi when they were both much younger. 

It was more uncomfortable when she thought about others beliefs, especially Carla’s. Sure, it was tolerable to hear some of the things her pastor has mentioned, but sometimes he tells her such ridiculous things that are in no way connected to religion. Other than the sexual orientation thing, he had also told Carla that donating 20% of your monthly income to the church would guarantee a spot in heaven. Carla had thankfully not believed in that, mostly due to Daniela telling her that it obviously was a scam.

‘’We both know Carla has more than once ignored what her pastor says! She gossips with you everyday even though her pastor says that’s a sin.’’ Nina cleverly points out after, and Daniela closes her phone in defeat. She made a good point, and she knows that Carla doesn’t let a religion control her life when it comes down to who she can love. 

‘’And I am..’’ Daniela starts hesitantly, looking to the side for a second before saying fuck it in her head and facing Nina. Now that she thought about it, Nina could make a pretty good life coach. ‘’I’m old, way too old, and Carla should have someone who’s more --’’

‘’O my god Daniela, are you fucking serious!?’’ Nina abruptly interrupts her, making the older glare at her, but also making her wait and wonder what more she has to say. ‘’Yes, you’re older than her, like by a lot-’’ Daniela smacks the back of Nina’s head at that, making her whine and rub the spot. ‘’That’s not the point, I mean that it doesn’t matter when Carla is the last person who would care about how much older you are than her!’’

Daniela stays quiet, contemplating what Nina had said. She wants to believe that Nina was right, which she is, but after what had happened to Carla, she wasn’t sure what their relationship was or what it could be. Daniela felt a bit guilty when she thought about it this way, but she was afraid that Carla had been so traumatised that she had sworn off relationships forever, or at least for a few years and then that would be too late for them. Daniela was literally a year from her forties, and Carla was the sweetest 28 year old in the Barrio. She had the time to continue searching for her life partner. 

She opens her mouth to say something, just a small ‘’Alright’’ in response, but the door opens again and both wipe their heads towards the entrance. There stood Vanessa and Carla, looking very excited and happy to see their old and close friend. 

‘’ _ Linda! _ ’’ Carla greets as she and Vanessa make their way to the girl, Vanessa giving her a hug first since she practically ran to her with a great amount of speed and pulled her in a tight hug. Carla stood in line to fish Nina in for a hug immediately after Vanessa had let go. 

It had felt good to talk about her worries and actually think about them for once, Daniela thought as they all huddled up and talked together. She really needed to rant on more about what she has felt the last few weeks, even before the incident had happened, but it was far too complicated to explain to others. 

Plus, somebody who really should talk more about their feelings was Carla, who had not spoken a single word about the accident since around five weeks ago. Perhaps Daniela should more often push her to go to a therapist, maybe she should even tell her to do so right now with the help of Nina. Nina always had a way with words. 

She refrains however, because she knows this is a private matter between the two of them and that Carla would despise her forever for mentioning it to somebody else. 

They walk over to Nina’s home together, the four of them chatting and Daniela once again being reminded that she wasn’t actually a part of their friend group, since she was practically Camila’s age. Perhaps she should stick to talking with the elders today, even if their conversations would often just be them complaining about being old. She enjoyed drinking wine and ranting about her debts with them mostly because they had a surprisingly funny sense of humor, especially for a family from such conservative roots. 

The four arrived and there had been a large amount of hugging and talking, mostly greetings that were far too played out and unnecessary, but it was cute to find Camila still just as excited to see her child return home every time. As they made their way to the family’s cramped but homey kitchen, they passed a photo from Nina’s graduation. A picture that had both Nina and Abuela present, smiling widely and tearfully together. Daniela closed her eyes and paid respect for Claudia, then returned to the group in the kitchen, aawing at the large amount of food on the table. 

‘’Have you also gone off to college? You look like my  _ flaquita _ ’’ Camila jokes, looking at Carla with her sharp and observant eyes. Carla’s face twists into an uneasy smile as she laughs a bit awkwardly, and Nina rolls her eyes at her mom, groaning loudly at her embarrassing nicknames.

They all sit down around the table, three seats off to the side empty for Benny, Sonny and Usnavi, who were downtown making their way over right now, saying something about bringing the best dessert for the barrios best. The three younger sitting on one side and the three others on the other. Daniela was thankfully seated by the edge of the table in front of Carla, who smiled widely at their seating arrangement. She had missed hanging out with Carla. 

(Again, why was her mind always focused on that? And they practically hang out everyday for hours!)

When she was going to make conversation with Carla, Vanessa pulled the younger into a very loud and messy argument about who the best boyfriend was, Benny or Usnavi. Daniela lets out a small sigh and grabs the tongs, grabbing herself bits of ham along with some vegetables. 

In between the conversation with Vanessa and Nina, Carla glances at Daniela and signals for her to give hand over the tongs. The older only smirks in response, handing them over without hesitation. However, when Carla’s hand moves to take it from her, Daniela pulls the utensil away. This went on for a couple more tries until Carla groans, but has a big smile on her face, and grabs Daniela’s wrists instead, finishing the game as she victoriously takes the tongs. 

(She was very proud to see Carla more engaged and having fun again, and also regaining some of her appetite for the food she used to love. To think that such a douchebag would have hurt Carla enough to make her disengage from what she loved was something that tortured Daniela’s thoughts. Coming to a conclusion, when they return home she was going to take initiative and book an appointment for Carla.)

Daniela tries not to think about what Nina had said earlier in the Salon when she sees Nina give her a knowing look. One that was also given to her by Kevin and Camila, but Daniela didn’t see it from her perspective of cutting up her food and focusing on eating it. 

‘’We heard about you and… Carla’’ Kevin starts a bit awkwardly, and Daniela sputters and stabs a piece of ham with her fork, her eyes widening. Of course they had heard, it was highly unlikely that not everybody in the barrio already knew.

‘’No, Oh no,  _ dios mio _ !’’ Daniela exclaims too loudly, making everybody around the table look in her direction. She rolls her eyes at the younger girls and waves her hands to them, dismissing them with a snarky ‘’aye, staring is rude’’ which makes them turn away. 

‘’Is it not true?’’ Camila asks, leaning in closer and practically putting her entire weight on Kevin as she picks up the wine bottle, opening it and offering to fill the three adults empty glasses. In Camila’s eyes, Nina and her friends were still far too young to drink, even if Carla was eight years older than her daughter. Daniela glances at Carla, keeping her voice low as she answers. 

‘’Not entirely. Carla has been over at my apartment, but it’s more of a roommate situation than anything else’’ she explains to them, and Kevin nods, and so that topic had been closed down for the day. Daniela couldn’t help but think about how many more people she would need to explain her and Carla’s relationship to. 

When they enter the topic of relationships again, she starts feeling something bad was going to happen, especially when Camila starts talking about setting her up with some of her friends' sons, and that it really was the time to start settling down. Daniela cringes inwardly but she knew they couldn’t help it, it was in their parental behaviour to think that women should be settled down before the age of forty. When Camila asks her if she was interested for girls to be added on the list, her husband scoffs as if she had just made a joke, and Daniela freezes. 

Oh no.

‘’She is too old to be having such an unnatural phase. I mean, two girls? How is that going to work?’’ Kevin says offhandedly, taking a bite of his food as if he hadn’t just said something mildly homophobic. Daniela glares at him, her hands tightening around the wine glass she was holding. Camila was also caught off guard by her husband's words, placing her utensils down slowly and opening her mouth, trying to say something before Daniela can. She fails, since Daniela had too much to say and wanted to make herself clear to somebody like him.

‘’Who are you to say that?’’ Daniela hisses out, a bit louder and harsher than she had intended, and Kevin stops. Both her and Camila were staring at him, and he shrinks in his seat at the deadly look from his wife. 

‘’I mean, you just said so yourself. That you weren’t like that, that you and Carla are just friends—’’ He stutters out, and Daniela’s eyebrows furrow even further, her eye twitching. 

‘’Who are you to decide what kind of relationship I can have with Carla?’’ She repeats, catching the attention of the chattering girls sitting by the table. Kevin seems to have realised that it wasn’t his place to comment on that, but he was still fumbling around with the right words to say as to make amends to this situation. ‘’You’re not my fucking  _ papa, _ ’’ she spits out, swinging down the last of the wine and standing up abruptly ’’-and I won’t take any shit from someone like you.’’With that said, the salon owner walks around the silent table and towards the exit of the dining room. 

‘’Daniela, wait’’ Kevin calls out, trying to catch the angry latinas attention, also standing up. Daniela thought about straight up ignoring him, but she was nice. Of course she was nice and gave him a chance to talk. She was mostly staying and listening to what he had to say so as to not seem rude, or make the Rosarios hate her. ‘’I don’t understand why you’re angry, you’re not a homosexual.’’ The way Kevin states this, as if it was a fact and that he was right about it, was rather hurtful for Daniela to see and hear. This was not what she had expected to hear, nor did she want to hear anymore of it.

(Wrong, she thinks to herself. You don’t know anything about who I am, she wanted to say.)

‘’Dad!’’ Nina yells in horror, and Camila follows right behind her daughter by slapping him in the arm. 

‘’I am sorry Nina, but I will be leaving’’ Daniela nods to the daughter of the Rosarios, not even looking at the man in the room as she barges out of their kitchen, hastily wearing her heels and snatching her purse from the coathanger. She throws open the door and then might’ve slammed it shut with more force than necessary. 

Walking out of their home felt like such a relief, but she was still in a sour mood as she felt the cold air blow through her hair. A shit ton of curses were flying through her head, and his words really hit her hard and deep. She wasn’t a homosexual, ot at least not out loud. She would probably never come forth as being one either. Or at least not to anybody but Abuela Claudia, who passed away, and Carla. 

Carla who she had left in that apartment with such a bigot. Of course she couldn’t entirely blame Kevin for being like he is, because more than half of the people in latin america would be agreeing with his thoughts and opinions, especially about somebody's sexuality. 

Daniela halts for a moment, thinking of one night months ago, when she and Carla had talked about this specifically...

‘’Dani!’’ Carla yells, and Daniela turns in surprise at her voice, for a second thinking that she had been thinking of Carla and somehow mustered her voice up in her head. She was even more surprised to see Nina right beside her, both of them coming out of the apartment just a minute after her. 

They run up to her and both have to take a moment to breathe, and Daniela shifts from one leg to the other. The tension between the three was a bit weird, and the older prayed to the sky that she was only being paranoid right now.

‘’Huh, didn’t you want all the attention off of you for a second? I guess I helped you out!’’ Daniela bluntly states, and Nina smiles widely at her attempt to lighten the mood. 

‘’I did, so thank you for that’’ She gets a message on her phone that blings obnoxiously loud, though she chooses to ignore it. ‘’Listen, my dad might be a bit conservative and slow when it comes down to some things in-’’

‘’Don’t worry about that.’’ Daniela waves it off, trying to stop her from talking more about her sexuality. Nina glances at Carla and gets the hint, nodding in response. 

‘’Also wanted to say I’m sorry for-’’

‘’ _ Mija _ ’’ Daniela stops her, giving her a reassuring smile and a shake of her head. ‘’It’s not your fault. Just tell your  _ papi _ to never bring that up when I’m over for dinner again, if I’ll ever even be invited again, and we’ll be good’’ She promises, and Nina pauses, looking a bit perplexed at what she had just said. 

The college student gets another notification and groans, promptly forgetting about her worry for Daniela and focusing on the spamming that was currently happening. ‘’It kind of wasn’t smart of me to leave Vanessa all alone with my parents, so I should go now. ’’ She starts running backwards, waving her hands to them in goodbye.’’It was super nice seeing you, hope we meet again before I have to fly back next week!’’ she says before turning around and going back into the apartment. 

Carla smiled brightly now that they were alone, and Daniela was going to argue that she should stay and enjoy having dinner with them. That thought came to a halt when she knew that Carla would feel uncomfortable there all alone at such a scary hour, and she let the younger girl tag along home. Her bag was already at Daniela’s apartment, so it was a straight way home. 

‘’Vanessa told me about what Yolanda had said’’ Carla speaks up when they had walked a block in silence. Daniela held her breath and counted to four before breathing out again, then dared to ask. 

‘’What do you think?’’

‘’It’s going to be really awkward when I go to church on sunday’’ Carla lightly jokes, and Daniela nods. Thursday was usually a good day for her, a day with the least amount of trouble and drama. But today. Today was definitely not a good day.

Yeah, it would be pretty awkward.


	5. 68 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a proposition, and a long awaited talk.

‘’Carla?’’ Daniela yells as she enters her apartment with two bags full of groceries. The girl she had asked for pops her head into the hallway of the apartment, immediately going to help her with the groceries and taking one of the heavy bags from her. 

They walk into the kitchen with them and place them on the table, Daniela needing to take a break to stretch her back whilst Carla starts sorting through the items in the bag. It was almost domestic how Carla knew exactly where everything was going to go, not needing to ask once where she was going to put anything. 

Daniela found herself watching her work for a second, proud when she also realized that the bowl of fried rice with fish was gone and that the bowl itself was drying next to the sink, but also mesmerized by her movements. She noted how Carla was much more confident, her back straighter and her face so much more happy. 

(Daniela definitely didn’t want to honk her own horn, but she was more than happy that her attempts to help have worked well. )

‘’I’m going out tonight’’ Daniela says and Carla’s hands instantly come to a halt when putting the tomato soup in the cupboard. That was the last item in the two bags, so Daniela takes them, neatly folds them and stores them in her purse. ‘’Don’t worry, I’m not going to force you to come along’’ 

‘’Oh’’ Carla breathes out and slowly places the small can in its place. For some reason Daniela thinks that Carla hadn’t been worried about that, but Carla turns around with a slight smile and glances at the clock. She exhales deeply when noting that it was just passed nine. ‘’When are you going?’’

‘’In about forty minutes, I have to change’’ Daniela points at her clothes, which would’ve worked perfectly for a night out since Daniela’s style was nearly always formal. Carla carefully nods. She already knew what Carla was thinking without needing to hear it. ‘’Same club as always,  _ cariño _ ’’

‘’And when are you coming home?’’ The way Carla asks her that question makes Daniela think that this was their home for a second. As if they were living together, that they were part of an intimate relationship and that Carla was worried for her in more than a platonic way. 

Ever since yesterday, every small thing they did together felt different. For instance, today had been one of those days where Daniela woke up two hours earlier than usual and suddenly found herself having breakfast with Carla. That had most certainly been a first, and Daniela hopes to god or whatever that it would happen again. Or the fact that they had made their way together to the salon and spotted a greyhound on the sidewalk that Carla had gushed over and said that they should get one. As if implying that they would raise it together (Or it was because Daniela wasn’t allergic to dogs and could actually take care of it, unlike Carla). She shakes that thought away and leaves it in the back of her mind for another time. 

‘’Well, Vanessa said the event lasts until 2 am, and it is a friday night. Probably around that time’’ She says casually and turns to go into her room, needing to start changing and fixing herself up before going to pick Nina, Benny, Usnavi and Vanessa up. She leaves Carla in the kitchen alone, looking a bit pale and fidgety in the now very bright room. 

Carla couldn’t and didn't say anything the rest of the time, which wasn’t that unusual for her, but it was odd when she didn’t comment on Daniela’s makeup or outfit. She didn’t once try to help with fixing up her hair, neither did she recommend any vibrant and popping colors for her eyeshadow. 

‘’You can do whatever you want, and if something happens call me’’ Daniela tells her whilst taking on her painfully tall but very bougie heels, looking in the mirror as she fixes her hair a bit more with her hands. She could only hear Carla humm in the background and watched her friend in the mirror, seemingly scrolling endlessly through the channels on her small TV. 

‘’Oh and you can lock the door behind me, I have the keys in my purse’’ She continues either way, too invested now in rummage through her purse to check if she had everything she needed with her to notice Carla standing up and walking towards her from behind. 

‘’Be careful’’ Daniela’s brows furrow and she turns her attention from her purse, staring at her with a sympathetic look when noting the worrisome tone in Carla’s voice. Awareness hit her when she saw the younger's serious expression and shimmering eyes, finally getting why she had asked so awkwardly what time she was going to arrive home. 

‘’Carla…’’ Daniela whispers, her hands letting the bag drop to the floor and pulling her friend closer in a swift movement. She didn’t care when her phone started ringing, probably Vanessa calling to say that they were ready, and only pulled the surprised Carla closer. After a second she felt Carla’s arms finally rest on her hips, their chests starting to rise and fall in rhythm. ‘’I don’t have to-’’ 

Carla pulls her chest and head back, but keeps her arms around her hips, their faces inches apart as Carla shakes her head. ‘’No, you should go have fun. I'll be fine!’’ She hurriedly says, sending a smile to her purse on the floor when the phone starts ringing again. ‘’And Vanessa would definitely kill you if you ditch them’’ 

‘’Alright’’ She sighs, letting go of her shoulders and watching in defeat as Carla steps back from her a bit. ‘’Promise me to call if anything happens?’’

Carla pauses for a second, which should’ve been a bad sign for Daniela had it not been for the constant ringing of her phone that distracted her, before smiling softly. ‘’I will call you if I need to’’ 

\--

It was soon three am and Daniela wanted desperately to just die. 

Or at least kill the two drunk teenagers who were not teenagers anymore that were kissing each other in her back seat. Both options were good for her. She was just so goddamn tired. Even if she had a ton of fun at the club, she wouldn’t want to return there for another two months probably. Especially because of the two literal fucks in her back seat. At least Benny and Nina had been respectful, but that might’ve been because Nina had been sitting in the front seat and Benny in the back. 

She deeply regretted wanting to throw herself back into her old life, since she was both way too old for it and very much not interested in it anymore. It felt childish to be at a place like the club, and it felt even more childish to be the designated driver to a bunch of … Of children. That is what they practically were in comparison to her age. Children with intense sexual desires- 

‘’EY, NO DRY HUMPING!’’ Daniela yells when she accidentally glances in the rear view mirror, her face wrinkled with disgust at the very indecent amount of PDA they were showing. Not that she had a problem with it, she just liked it when the couple weren’t rummaging through each other's clothes in front of her. 

She couldn’t help but think that Vanessa had probably taught Usnavi everything they were currently doing, since the innocent boy would never do this in public. 

Daniela also couldn’t help but think of Carla the entire time. She hadn't called, and Daniela had checked her phone every ten minutes at the cub. Even now, she couldn’t help but open her flip phone and check for any missed calls or even messages, sighing when there were none. 

As she kicked Vanessa and Usnavi out of her car when they had arrived at Vanessa's home, she had to rethink her thoughts. Wasn’t it good that Carla hadn’t called her? It meant that nothing bad had happened, and that the young girl was probably sleeping right now. Hopefully sleeping… 

She had to stop thinking of the worst case scenarios, because maybe Carla was actually doing good right now and she was just making assumptions as usual. She had seen the girl start to slowly digress back into her normal life, even though they were still basically living together after 2 months, and that was more than a positive sign of growth. 

But she also knew Carla, and that she was sometimes scared of admitting her real fears to others. 

She arrives home at her apartment and locks the car, then walks up the stairs and arrives at her door. She takes out her keys before even checking if it was locked, knowing already that Carla had locked the door the minute she exited the building, and slowly unlocks it. She quietly opened the door and walked in, pulling off her heels the second she closed and locked the door behind her, then she could take a deep breath. 

The apartment was undoubtedly filled with some sort of looming tension and Daniela hoped for a second that she was overreacting, and that when she would enter her bedroom she would find everything right in its place. Nothing out of the unusual. 

She knew the second she entered her room and saw the inflatable mattress still against the wall that there was something off. 

Carla was in her bed, her eyes clenched shut in distress. 

When Daniela came closer, she saw her curled in on herself hugging the pillow, her face smushed into it and her hair a mess all over the sheets. Daniela places her purse on the bedside table, not noticing the empty glass of water already there and only knowing when she heard the very loud shatter. 

They both jumped at that, Daniela out of surprise and Carla out of fear, and Daniela cursed loudly at the spill on the floor. 

‘’ _ Mierda _ , why the fuck was there a glass of water here?’’ She whispers loudly to herself, cursing some more under her breath as she carefully reaches to the wall to flick the lights on, catching Carla off guard and making her squirm under the covers. 

She walks out and back into the room with a broom in hand, thankful that there didn’t seem to be that many shards of glass on the floor, and that the glass had been empty. She quickly swept up the pieces into the tray. ‘’Sorry for waking you-’’ at the end of her sentence she had looked up from her work, catching Carla’s big and tearful eyes. 

Daniela saw now with lights on the tear stained cheeks and pillow, the sheets tangled in sweaty limbs and the fearful eyes of her friend, and of course the voice in her head had been right. It was right about yesterday, it sure as hell would be right today. When is that voice ever wrong about Carla. 

‘’ _ Cariño,  _ why didnt y-’’

‘’I nearly made it by myself” Carla sobs out, a tearful smile making its way to her face as she tries to look somewhat reassuring. Daniela stares at her, a clear look of disappointment on her face that makes Carla’s face drop. The older lets out a breath and pinches the bridge of her nose in thought. 

‘’I know it’s hard to ask for help, but Carla please understand that It hurts when you don’t trust me enough to give me a call’’ she tells her, feeling a bit guilty at raising her voice about something so futile as this. 

‘’It’s not that! I just need to learn how to handle this alone’’ she defends slightly, rubbing her cheeks and wiping away the stains. 

‘’Why alone?’’ Carla pauses at that, her face baffled as she herself had no idea why she was so persistent in handling this alone. Daniela watches her for a second before pushing herself off the floor, taking the cleaning equipment with her as she starts to walk away carefully so as to not spill.’’You know I would do anything to-’’ 

‘’Dani, please sleep with me’’ Carla bluntly and suddenly states from the bed, and Daniela nearly drops the tray of shards on the floor. She chokes on a proper response, her head reeling back and staring at Carla with a wide mouth. They were both red in the face, Carla mostly because she just realised she had clearly formulated her request wrong. ‘’I mean,  _ sleep _ sleep with me, not sleep as in …’’ She wanders on and Daniela nods, completely understanding her from the beginning. 

It had simply been shocking to hear those words. ‘’Are you sure that-’’ 

‘’Yes’’

Throwing away the shards into the trashcan and putting away the cleaning supplies, Daniela returns to the room quickly and starts undressing. Carla pulled the covers over her head to give her privacy, and about four minutes later she was done changing and had put on a slip. She told the younger that as she started to wipe away her makeup. 

She closed the lights when she was done with her makeup, and she watches Carla from the switch for a second, who stares right back at her. And this was definitely an intense and intimate moment that would be burned in both Daniela and Carla’s head. 

The older slowly walks towards the bed, then rolls her eyes at her own behaviour. She doesn’t want to make this awkward for both of them, and she was only doing this to help Carla. She steadily pulls up the covers and plops into her own bed in a sitting position. 

Daniela swallows and thinks about her next move for a second. Her bed wasn’t that big, only a double XL, and if they were both going to be sleeping on the bed Daniela would have to scoot in much closer and snuggle up to Carla. It wasn’t a problem for her, but for Carla. ‘’I can put the air mattress by the--’’ 

She was silenced when Carla pushed Daniela down on the bed, holding her by the shoulders and staring down at her with lidded eyes. The older was uncertain of what was going on in Carla’s head at that moment, but something told her that she was sick of Daniela tip-toeing around her. It might be the fact that Carla was now the one taking action. 

She let’s go of her shoulders and lays down beside her instead, turning her body against Daniela’s and showing her that it was okay to touch her when she encourages Daniela’s hands to move. She wraps her arms around Carla, and they both let out a sigh when they finally settle on the bed comfortably. 

‘’Stay’’ Carla whispers, her breath hot against her neck. Daniela shivers, unconsciously pulling Carla in closer by her waist. 

They are both silent, Daniela staring at the wall with her head on Carla’s and Carla with her eyes closed and trying to ease her beating heart. If she was this close to anyone else she would for sure be freaking out, yet her heart was still pounding.

She was surprised by herself when she found herself asking something she had thought about the last two months.’’Can you… Is it okay if I ask you about what happened that day?’’

Daniela had expected the younger to tense up at that, probably tell her that No, of course that wasn’t an okay thing to ask, but she got none of that. Instead, Carla takes a few deep breaths and nods. 

‘’I, I don’t exactly know how I’m going to say it’’ She starts nervously, and Daniela immediately tells her that there was no pressure. She could say it Spanish if she wanted too, but Carla only huffs a small laugh at that and shakes her head. 

‘’It wasn’t- Like there was no… he didn’t stick it in’’ Daniela sucks in a breath at hearing her say, feeling that it was still going to break her heart to hear more. ‘’He only shoved me into an alley and —‘’ Carla shudders, curling further into Daniela and basking in the comfort for a few seconds. ‘’He touched me, even when I screamed no. Kept on touching my hips.. It felt so…’’ she pauses, and Daniela swallows. ‘’It felt fucked up, and I felt so fucking dirty’’ She hisses out, and they both went quiet. 

Daniela tried to think of something to say, wanted to tell her over and over again that this wasn’t her fault and that she wanted to kill whoever the asshole was. Probably snip his penis off, but that was only in dreams and crazy fantasies.

When it was obvious that they both wouldn’t be sleeping for a bit more, even though Daniela was tired and had soon been awake for 24 hours, they simply accepted it. Carla breathed in Daniela’s scent which made her relax more and Daniela felt bold enough to bring up something else she has thought about all day, and yesterday after that disastrous dinner. 

‘’Listen Carla.’’She slowly starts, trying not to sound crude or hoars at this time of night. ‘’I think you’ve waited long enough, so I did something big today.’’It was in fact something she most certainly shouldn’t have done on her own, or without Carla’s consent, but she knows why the younger had been pushing away the thought. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to, it’s because she was afraid to make the next step. ‘’I made you an appointment with a therapist, next week on Wednesday.’’Daniela finished and Carla immediately tensed up. 

‘’My pastor says that therapy is a scam’’ She states, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the thought of actually doing something like that. Daniela rubs her back, soothing her and counting to ten (She had read online that this helps to regain one's composure). Carla sighs. ‘’I don’t have the money to pay for it right now. The bills and debt just keep piling up… But I want to Dani. I can’t pay you back-’’ Daniela hushes her before she could continue that sentence. 

‘’Which is why I have a proposition.’’ 

‘’ _ Que _ ?’’ She asked in confusion, and Daniela smiled. 

‘’I have an idea that will help us both’’ She explains, and felt the younger nod her head. She closes her eyes and in a breath simply says ‘’Move in with me.’’

Carla’s eyes widen and her mouth opens in shock. That was certainly not expected, especially since that seemed like something Daniela would entirely despise. Daniela loved to have her own space, and this would only lead to less room in her already cramped apartment. 

‘’Daniela, I’m not going to move in with you just because I need to save up some money.’’

‘’Carlita, you practically already live with me. You even have an entire drawer full of your clothes.’’ Daniela smirks and Carla blushes, looking over at said drawer and wondering why the hell Daniela had even allowed that in the first place. The smirk then drops down to a loving smile, her tone shifting drastically from teasing to caring ‘’Besides, it’s not only because of the money..’’ 

‘’What do you mean?’’ Carla hesitantly asks, and Daniela sighs, her hands around Carla’s back tightening a bit. She notices Carla’s worried expression at her movement and eases her stiff arms.

‘’Do you know what you make me feel?’’ The question was so out of place and Carla turned around, shifting out of her embrace so that she could sit on her knees and face Daniela. She needed to be face to face with her for this, because she had to understand and couldn’t focus whilst being cuddled up to her.

‘’What?’’

‘’Carla, I’ve been trying to respect you, give you the space you need, be there for you when you need me, but I can’t keep pretending that I want to be your friend’’ 

Carla swallows thickly, her eyes tearing up and her back unconsciously leaning away. ‘’What?’’ she could only muster up to ask again, since it's the only word that she could really say right now. ‘’Why would you ask me to move in with you if you don’t want to be my friend?!’’ She hadn’t meant for her voice to raise like that. Her shoulders rise up, one of her hands starting to absentmindedly scratch her knees. 

Daniela sits up and reaches her hands out, holding her wrists lightly and scurrying forward a bit. Now they were both seated on their knees, sitting face to face with Carla's hands cradled between Daniela’s. Daniela wore the softest smile Carla had seen her have, and she started to breath again. (She hadn’t noticed that she had held her breath when Daniela took hold of her hands)

‘’ _ Te amo tanto que duele. _ ’’ She gasps at hearing that, and for a moment it felt like she had leaned too far back and was falling. She was glad Daniela had been able to pull her forward. ‘’Remember when we had the black out? I called you to ask if you were okay and to check up on Abuela...’’ 

‘’You called me mi amor’’ Carla says breathlessly. Daniela nods, her expression remaining soft as she stares at her. By the window one could see the sun start to peek out of the horizon, and the dark room was suddenly just enough for both of them. They could see each other perfectly now. ‘’But you always call such names…’’ She absentmindedly says to herself, realizing now that they were actual terms of endearment meant to convey love. 

‘’And when Abuela Claudia passed away…’’ The elder woman started and the tears that had gathered were starting to roll down Carla’s face. Both at the mention of Abuela Claudia and at the reminder of how they had clung to each other that day, how it had brought them closer and made them embrace for hours on end in this same apartment. They had both been crying and eating junk food, then alcohol had gotten involved and made them confess to everything and anything in their lives. 

(One of Carla’s confessions was that she wasn’t sure if she was straight, and Daniela had only snorted in response. It had been a scary sound to hear until Daniela spoke up and said that she herself never gave men a chance in her life because she wasn’t interested in men. That she for sure was a dyke.)

‘’Do you mean that you love me, as in romantically?’’ Carla finally pieces together, even though there weren't many pieces to the puzzle. She was starting to feel a sense of joy flooding in, but there was one more truth to this that may affect Daniela’s feelings and change everything. She swallows thickly at the thought.

‘’Yes, you smartass.’’ Daniela deadpans, but a smile forms on her face as she takes her hand to her cheeks, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears and bring her closer again. ‘’How many times do I have to say it for you to understand that?’’

Carla continues to stare at Daniela and she shuffles closer, placing herself between the elders legs and bringing her hands up to her own face, placing them on Danielas.

‘’Dani, I- I’m not sure I can give you what you want’’ Carla quietly confesses, and Daniela tenses at her statement.

‘’What do you mean by that?’’

‘’ I know you Dani. I know that no matter how much you love gossip, you can never be happy with someone like me. Imagine what everyone would say!’’ She starts, then shakes her head because that wasn’t what she was actually referring to, but it was hard to say it. ‘’I also don’t think I am currently interested in… ‘’ there was a long pause before Carla breathes out ‘’ _ conocimiento carnal _ ’’

‘’Jesus Christ Carla!’’ Daniela laughed and Carla blushed vividly at her reaction, dropping her hands and about to turn away when she was stopped by Danielas arms wrapping around her waist. She relaxed in her embrace, but her face was still strained to the side. ‘’Why the hell do you think I care so much about sex?’’

‘’Because you and Vanessa always talk about these things at the salon!’’ She childishly complains, and Daniela chuckles.

‘’That’s with Vanessa, a straight girl with an insane sexdrive.’’ Carla smiles at that, and Daniela would most certainly have to tell her about her and Usnavi and the shit they did at the club all night. But not now. ‘’You’re Carla, my Carlita, somebody completely different. If you don’t like it, I don’t like it either’’ Daniela pulls Carla in further and shifts her legs underneath the girls, making her sit more comfortably on her thighs. ‘’And yes, sure. I like to have some sort of release every now and then, but I will never force or make you do something you’re not comfortable with’’

‘’Even if we never have sex?’’ The question seemed innocent enough, but there was a great deal of anxiety and fear underneath it and Daniela rolled her eyes. 

‘’Yes, I am willing to have a relationship with you even without the  _ conocimiento carnal _ ’’ she mimics her voice at the end, making Carla smile brightly and lean her forehead to Daniela’s. ‘’So what do you say? Will you move in with me in exchange for therapy?’’

‘’Yes, thank you’’

They didn’t kiss, even if it felt like it was the right moment, right place and right everything, but it still made them both breathless. They slept before the sun had managed to make its way up, and they stayed together until lunchtime. Even if Carla woke up an hour before, she stayed right next to her, lulling her head side to side happily. 


	6. 73 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy session blues

‘’ Do you want me in there with you or outside the door?’’ Daniela had asked her at the beginning of their drive. Carla had yet to answer, because she still didn’t know what to say. 

For one, she wanted Daniela with her desperately. She felt calm with her, more confident in telling her story and conveying her feelings. Also, with Daniela, Carla felt like she could face the big, scary therapist that they were driving over to right now. But that was a dumb fear, now wasn’t it?

She wanted to do this alone though because she didn’t want to continue relying on Daniela and pushing anymore of her troubles onto her. Even though they were girlfriends now (an interesting title to have), it still felt like Carla was leeching of off her, like some sort of ... leech. 

So once they arrive, a good twenty minutes later since Daniela knew she’d rather not have anybody know about this, she looks at the woman driving. 

She was just going to say what came to her mind first, since that always works out for her when she makes a decision.

Did she want Daniela to be there or not?

‘’Could you be there with me?’’ She asks, a small smile on her face once she realizes that this was most certainly the right decision. 

Daniela’s smile was much wider. ‘’Of course’’


	7. 105 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They share their first kiss

They were at the salon, with Vanessa, Benny and Usnavi present, Sonny being somewhere in the back room trying to find anything forgotten that he could take home. This was a normal day for them, where there were barely any customers and the De La Vega boys and Benny would just wander into the salon out of boredom. 

It would’ve all been very normal indeed, if it wasn’t for the fact that Carla and Daniela had been way too close. So close to the point that it was something entirely new than before. People knew that those two would often be found together, and with the recent rumors going around that they were together made it even more plausible. It was true, but they didn’t want to actually confirm the people’s suspicion. Especially when they knew that they would have to face people who had the same ideas as Kevin, and probably even worse. 

Oh yeah, since it was still very new and they were too busy moving Carla’s important things to Daniela's apartment and selling her apartment, they hadn’t even had the time to tell their close friends about their ‘’new’’ relationship. Sure, a month has passed by since their relationship started, but it was still new to them in many ways. 

And with all the new things in their relationship, the great new habits they suddenly got because of them spending time together in a new way, it was shocking that nobody had actually noticed. The handholding, or when working at the salon and Daniela would just have the urge to wrap an arm around Carla to tell her something so simple as to bring her some blonde hair dye, or the general lack of personal space between them. 

Carla had even started to initiate some of their more tender moments. Her shy behaviour, and struggles, would sometimes just evaporate and she would take risks. Risks like linking their arms together on the way to work and pulling her closer when they are laying in bed. The small risks would always make Daniela smile widely, which was enough for Carla to stop being so flustered about it. 

That was however not enough for both of them to actually share their first kiss. 

Daniela was always waiting for Carla to make the first move, since it really wasn’t her place to actually initiate their first kiss. She wants Carla to be ready, not feel that it was an obligation, or that Daniela had pushed her to it. Which is why she had patiently waited the past month. 

(Which, to be honest, wasn’t that long. Daniela had waited months for Carla without really knowing it, and Carla had done just the same. However long it would take for Carla, or even if she ever would want to be intimate like that ever again, was alright for Daniela. )

‘’Carla, could you bring me a quill brush from the back? I think Benny has to feel some pain before he leaves’’ Daniela smirks and Benny yelps, trying to get up from the chair. The quill brush has always been a nightmare for his hair. Vanessa was much quicker and pushed him back down on the chair, keeping him there by threatening to snip his hair off when he wasn’t looking. Something she had actually done before. Benny stays quiet after that. 

Carla searches the entire backroom for that brush, grinning widely when she finds them at the very end of the room. The back room has always been a code name for the storage area, where a little over half of the stuff in here were Daniela’s old belongings that she didn’t have the heart to throw out, or simply didn't have space for them at her apartment. Now that Carla’s things would be moved to Daniela’s apartment, there had been an overflowing amount of junk and extra, very unnecessary, objects. 

Daniela was, much like Abuela Claudia, someone who thought throwing away memories was a bad omen. 

She does get intrigued when, by the edge of the shelf, she also finds multiple boxes that had different dates on them, and she knew exactly what they were. The one that read 1980 was always her favourite. 

Carla completely forgets about the quill brush, and instead grabs the medium and torn box from the shelf, grinning when she sees the sticker she had placed on it when that box was first established. It was a very cheap and now super nasty red heart she had gotten from either mcdonalds or burger king. The material was now almost sluggish, and even if it felt unpleasant to run her fingers over it, she was grinning. 

The lid comes off, and she lets out an excited shriek when the first picture to pop up was Daniela, with her frilly hair and flowing bangs that spurt out in all directions. She giggles for herself, feeling her eyes tear up from laughter, and picks up the photo, putting the box back on the shelf. She decides that this photo, along with many others in that box, would be coming home with her today. 

Home… 

She doesn’t hear Daniela yelling at Vanessa to keep Benny still whilst she opens the door to the back room. 

‘’Carla? Did you find the quill brush or not? I really need to fuck up his hair, that little  _ tonto del culo  _ bit me!’’ Daniela expresses and furrows her eyebrows when Carla turns around. She was obviously shocked to find her teary eyed in the backroom, and for a moment she fears the worst. ‘’What-’’

‘’Look at this picture’’ Carla interrupts her, her smile forming back on her face and relief flooded through Daniela. ‘’It’s been so long, Dani’’

Daniela steps closer and, instinctively, Carla leans her head on her shoulder, leaning her body against her. Daniela’s arm wraps around her back and pulls her closer, then she takes an actual look on the picture and cringes. 

‘’ _ Aye Dios Mio,  _ why the hell was that the style?’’ Daniela groans, using her free hand to try and snatch the picture away from here. Carla quickly pulls the picture to her chest and grins, briefly remembering their little quip at the Rosario’s a few weeks ago. That reminds her, she never actually asked about what that had been about, or why the hell she had been involved in their conversation… Oh. 

Carla’s eyes widen, and she swallows as she thinks back to last week. Her words fall flat whilst she distractedly looks at her hand that was holding the picture. Feeling the need to respond, she opens her mouth and whispers ‘’Well, It was the eighties…’’

Daniela rolls her eyes, mistaking her reaction as a joke about her age. It would’ve hurt her had it not been for the cool front she puts on when they are outside their home. ‘’Hey, you can’t  _ devolver comida vencida a la tienda _ ’’ She lightly jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

‘’Huh?’’ She shakes her head, getting back to Daniela and wondering why she just said that she couldn’t return expired food to the store. She carefully places the picture back in the box, where it lays forgotten now among it’s friends, then turns around and faces her with a careful smile. 

Her eyes were still shining with unshed tears, that were now brimming over the edge because of another reason. Albeit, that reason was much similar to the feeling of pure entertainment from a picture of Daniela from the eighties. Carla brings her hands down to grab Daniela’s, then looks up at her for a second, thinking about the right thing to say. 

Daniela shifts from one leg to the other, hating the feeling of sudden suspense. ‘’Carla-’’

‘’I love you so much’’ Carla says from out of nowhere, staring at Daniela with such big and expressive eyes. Carla interlocks their fingers, bringing their hands up to their eyesight as she starts to nervously rub her thumb over Daniela’s. 

Daniela was sure that she had misheard her, since it couldn’t be possible that Carla chose now, of all moments they had gone through since her confession, to say the words ‘’I love you’’ back. And it came out like a melody, so pure, innocent and it made her nearly forget that she needed air to be alive.

‘’What? You choose to tell me this now?’’ She asks, even though she was breathless and overfilled with joy. She could barely believe it. Carla nods, a small smile coming back as she looks intently into her eyes. ‘’Well, I love you too’’ Daniela says then laughs, because she doesn’t know how else to express her love for this than without amusement. 

Carla’s cheeks were hurting her now, and for a second everything felt like it had stopped around them. There was no other noise than Daniela’s throaty laughter, nothing else that even came close to having as much meaning to Carla as her. For a second, it really felt like the right time, it finally felt right. 

‘’I know’’ Carla breathed, releasing one hand from Daniela’s and putting it around her neck instead, effectively pulling the older closer and bringing their lips together. The softness of Daniela’s lips melted all her nerves away, and it felt so right. It did not in any way make her feel dirty, nothing in the back of her head told her that she should stop and most importantly, she could finally kiss her without thinking about the right time. Because with Daniela, it always felt like the right time. After all those nights in her apartment, at Daniela’s home, it felt like their relationship was official, especially with it now becoming their home.

For some reason, Carla suspected that it had been her home for much longer than that. Before everything…

Carla pulls away, mostly because they were both smiling way too much to actually be kissing right now, but also because she has to say it again. ‘’I love you’’ She giggles, and Daniela leans back in, which was much appreciated by Carla. 

Her other hand leaves to wrap more forcefully around her neck, and Daniela takes the moment to pull her body in closer by her waist. Carla was glad that Daniela let her take the lead, and she walked back a bit to lean her back against the shelf, needing the support to keep herself from weighing Daniela down. 

‘’I love you’’ Daniela whispers between kisses, her hands going into her back pockets and making Carla let out a small yelp in surprise. The noise stops her from moving further, and Carla laughs and smiles at her carefulness. It was, however, annoying at many times. Especially when Daniela was stuck in position like a brick wall. 

‘’Dani’’ She groans at her behaviour, then uses her arms to pull her back in.

\--

‘’Guys!’’ Sonny excitedly whispers as he sprints as quietly as he can to the others. The three of them wait patiently as he tries to form something to say. ‘’Carla- They- Holy shit! Just follow me!’’ He grabs Vanessa's hand and pulls her away from the salon chair, then pushes them towards the back room. ‘’Be quiet!’’ he harshly whispers before they enter the back room. 

He pushed them all behind the shelves and tampered around with some of the things there, trying to find the perfect peephole for them all to watch through without being caught. Usnavi gives him a disappointed look when he realizes that the young boy must’ve been eavesdropping on what Daniela and Carla were doing. That would’ve been very uncool of him, and very disrespectful, especially because this was Daniela’s -

‘’Here look!’’ He says when he finally gets it, and they have to crouch down on their knees to look at whatever it was Sonny wanted to show them. 

They were most certainly not expecting to see Daniela with her back to them, kissing Carla against the hard metal shelves of the back room, with both of them too invested in their thing to actually hear the audible gasps and small cheer. 

‘’Whoa’’ Vanessa whispered, and Benny grinned so wide at that. (Vanessa was mostly confused, because they both had been so adamant about not being together a week ago) (Benny was very smug, since he had heard from Nina about her speculations around them. He knew when she was right the second she had said something about them)(Usnavi was quiet, because he was trying to slowly piece together when they had gotten together)

‘’Is it just me or is that pretty hot?’’ Sonny starts, and all three of them glare at him. Usnavi takes off his cap and, with the same disappointed look, smacks the back of Sonny’s head with it.

‘’Aye!’’ He yells, momentarily forgetting that they had to be quiet. The three immediately hushed him, but it had been too late. They didn’t know that until Vanessa glanced back through her peeping spot and realized that both Daniela and Carla were gone from their spot.

‘’Ah shit!’’ She curses, and they all turn to look at the direction of her view to understand what she meant. A second later, when they were going to turn the corner and try to return unseen to the front, they ran head first into Daniela, or atleast Sonny did, who had been leading them and trying to escape first. 

He swallows and instantly backs up, standing near the group again as they all stare at a rather furious looking Daniela, with her hand reaching into the cardigan she wears whenever she is on duty. All four of them shiver when she pulls out a pair of old, beaten up chanclas. 

They knew Daniela wouldn’t hurt them, but at the same time they knew that the fierce latina could easily change her moral compass when someone annoyed her. Or disturbed her during something intimate. 

Carla spoke up for them instead. “I think it’s time for you guys to run” and they all instantly did a 90 degree turn and went for the door. Both Carla and Daniela were a bit confused as to why Benny had been grinning after being threatened with something as horrid as the chancla.

‘’I learned that one from abuela’’ Daniela says when they had scrammed away, throwing the chancla down to the floor and was going to wear it, only to then remember that she had her heels on and that the sandal was from the shelf. ‘’She told me that whenever I want to be left alone, I simply hold this up and stare into their souls’’ She explains, Bending to grab the sandal from the floor and turning back around to face Carla. ‘’It does wonders’’

Carla laughs, leaning in closer and taking the chancla away from her hand. ‘’Maybe we should have a pair at home,’’ she says, almost like a thought, and Daniela beams at that idea. Also because she found herself smiling every time Carla says home, as in that they both felt that home was at the same place, and the same person. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it for the initial story. Some more will come since I ship them so MUCH


End file.
